How to Cope When Everyone is Pregnant and You are Trying to Conceive (TTC)

Everyone is Pregnant. Suddenly, pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, baby showers and newborn photoshoots are appearing everywhere you look. As much as you are happy for them, you are sad for you. And your feelings are absolutely valid.


In today's digital-forward world, it can be challenging to avoid specific types of posts and information. Constantly viewing these topics can often spark negative thoughts and feelings, too. Many women trying to conceive might find themselves asking, "Why not me?" , "What's wrong with me?", "Am I bitter?", "Why can't I just be happy for them [without feeling sorry for myself]? And to add insult to injury, you may have friends and family saying things like, "Don't worry– you're next!" or urging you to view these things as "inspiration." While the intent behind these comments is pure, oftentimes they don't help lessen the feelings of frustration, hurt or disappointment.


You are not alone. You are allowed to feel both happy for others and sad for yourself. You are allowed to feel your emotions. And most importantly, you are allowed to have some breathing room.


At Moonstone Fertility, providing ways to help our clients work through their emotions and cope with difficult situations is paramount. We understand that the (in)fertility journey can feel like an uphill battle, which is why we strive to provide a safe and supportive space for anyone embarking on this journey.


Below are a few ways to cope with an influx of pregnancy and baby announcements while you are on your (in)fertility journey or trying to conceive (TTC) as outlined by registered psychologist and co-founder of Moonstone Fertility, Jessi Nesbitt, M.Ed.



Social Media Detox

Consider a short-term cleanse of all things pregnancy/baby-related that you can avoid, other than your own journey and needs. For some of us, this may mean stepping way from social media or setting up your accounts in a way to avoid posts regarding topics like pregnancy, child birth, baby announcements, etc. Once a cleanse is complete you can look at your social environment with a new perspective and decide what is helping your journey and what is hurting it.


Change the conversation with yourself

The fertility journey is a difficult one full of highs of hopefulness and lows of pain, emptiness, and envy. Unsurprisingly, our brains can become consumed with fertility, pregnancy, and baby related thoughts, regardless if we want to think about it. This is why it is important to change your way of thinking, You can replace a negative thought with a more helpful thought, change the topic of your mental conversation. Affirmations (mentally repeat an empowering statement), are also a helpful technique in helping restore mental balance (therefore creating more opportunity for fun and joy) and creating more resiliency to manage hardship you may be facing in your fertility journey.


Go on an adventure

Think back to when you were young, you lived for adventure, would to try

new things, engage in activities you were passionate about. As we age, many of us get

burdened down with our multitude of responsibilities and stress of adulthood~ we stop

playing. This of course is particularly a problem for those going through fertility

struggles, with the emotional weight of along with increased responsibilities in ‘making

a baby’. Try something new or return to something you were passionate about. These activities can help carve out a fertility and baby free zone, a space for you to be free in your play.


Feel your feelings

From dealing with pregnancy announcements, to losses, to feeling

like everyone is pregnant or has kids but you, is a tough experience. It’s hard. It’s down

right irritating. Naming the feelings and letting them out allows you to deal with it and

move forward without carrying so much emotional weight. So, sit down with yourself, a

journal, your partner, a friend... perhaps an online support group and share how you

feel.


Take a deep breath. We are here to help.

Check out Moonstone's online support groups and fertility workshops led by Jessi Nesbitt, M.Ed and Valerie Grenier, R. Psych.




Remember that you are bigger than your fertility struggles. This could possibly be the most important aspect of dealing with (in)fertility journey and the pressure it creates. Trying to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy without success month after month, loss after loss, all the

while facing this baby-driven world can cause people to lose their grip on themselves. Take a step back to try these techniques and restore balance in your life.


When engaging in any one of these suggestions it’s important to note that the changes aren’t

always immediately visible, but like doing exercise, over time you may notice you are feeling

better. Things are shifting. Balance is returning. Your strength of spirit to handle the ups and

downs of fertility is noticeable.


And remember, there is support and professional healing out there to help, too. You don’t have

to do this all alone. For more information and resources, check out Moonstone Fertility's website and offerings.

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